Author Archives: Vanessa Ashley

Okay, this blog is going to be silly. It’s been a long time (like years) since I’ve had any desire for marriage, or even dating; I haven’t even had the desire to look in the direction of a man.

A lot of things about my last relationship discouraged me, and took away my interest of pursuing being a wife. I lost my motivation for it, until recently.

A lot of you know who Charlie Kirk and Erika Kirk is, some people that come across this don’t agree with what he stood for but I do.

Their marriage, and devotion to Christ in their marriage and in their own individual identities was very moving, I looked up to it. Then, all of a sudden, I remembered before the pain I went through in my previous relationship, their marriage is what I was diligently sought.

A year before I got into a relationship with my ex, I spent most of my self devoting my time in Bible study learning how to become a Christian wife, I strived for the marriage Charlie and Erika had before I even knew of who they were and before they even knew each other, I believe.

Well, anyway, let me get to the point, if I went into every detail about how things got to where they were and where I became bitter, I don’t think I’d ever be able to stop typing. You’d definitely be intrigued by my story though, hahaha.

Here I am today, almost in my 30’s, kids, never married, and with this small void inside me that I haven’t been able to put my finger on until now. My relationship with Christ is great, I have the privilege as a single parent to homeschool my kids (if you haven’t been following me, read my previous blogs.), growing a unique relationship with my children, and I am pursing a self employed refurbishing business. (I am still in the very early stages of my business process but, the vision is there, the motivation is there, and the desire to succeed is there.)

So, I’ve been deeply in meditation with the Lord: Through my prayer life, through my studies, through scripture, through my entire day. Saying, “Lord, what else are you calling me to, I feel the emptiness, what other purpose am I suppose to be pursuing.”

A wife — I am called to be a man’s helper, I am called to not be above a man but equal with. I am a woman from a man’s rib, there is a man looking for his missing rib and I haven’t been pursuing nurturing my spiritual growth in that aspect, prolonging the divine calling of coming together with my husband. I had given that up, but I’ve realized, I cannot do this alone. I CAN but it is a very unnatural feeling, and the world we live in is scary.

Then all of a sudden, I’m excited, I have new spiritual journey to work towards, another part of womanhood I am called to transform; that’ll glorify God, and be an undeniable blessing of his good works and his existence, that I will use to spread the gospel.

I feel empowered by the Lord!

Thanks for listening!

1 Corinthians 11:11 (KJV):

“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”

📖 Galatians 3:28

“There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” ➡️ In Christ, men and women share the same standing, identity, and inheritance.

📖 Genesis 1:27

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

➡️ Both man and woman were created in God’s image — equal in dignity, worth, and purpose.

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, my last post I was fed up with the circumstances of my kid being in public school, working a job I highly disliked, sending my youngest to daycare, and not making money that was even worth my current situation.

No money is worth living a life that doesn’t make me happy. There were a few things nudging me to homeschool, which is the life I want for my kids, the life I want for myself.. Being a SAHM, home steading, raising my kids, taking care of the home, etc.

Well, a few months ago I was given my final nudge, I took the “risk” or really leap of faith and pulled my oldest out of public school and I am now on a mission to become self employed.

Someone told me you have to “pick your hard”, there’s a lot of obstacles I am dealing with on a financial level but we are THRIVING everywhere is. I have no regrets with my decision, I have received so many confirmations that this was what is meant to be, and we are headed in a good direction.

I have released so much stress off myself and my kids making the decision to homeschool. How what seems impossible that I know I can make possible, is being a single mother, homeschooling, and providing an income..

It’s all going to play out how it’s suppose to, I’ve trusted God this far; I’m not stopping now.

I’ll be back when this takes off even further… Thanks for listening, xoxo. – V

My dream and purpose in life, what I believe is my “calling”, is to raise my kids at home, HOMESCHOOLED, raising them to be self sufficient men.

I capitalized homeschool because public school is not for my household, it’s not what I believe is right for my kids, and right now, one of mine IS in public school.

Later on, I’ll get deeper into the discussion as of why I feel this way, but to stay on coarse… For the past week I’ve been strongly having the urge to pull my oldest out of school. Financially, I am spending more money keeping him in school by things like uniforms, gas money to drive (he’s a car rider, we are out of zone), all the miles it puts on my vehicle, money to participate in functions at school, etc.

So today I’m spending time figuring out HOW I can make an income being home, and homeschooling!

I would already be a part time worker if I kept him in school, and I’d spend more money than I’d make having them in school. Also, I don’t have a village so I’d have find an extremely flexible job to let me have all holiday and summer breaks off, lol…. So I am trying to make what feels like a losing situation, a winning one.

Tons of research and brainstorming today, if/when there’s a break through, I will update all of you. HOW, HOW, HOW… Prayers, please. #Prayerfirst #Listeningforguidance #Godswill #breakthrough #mom #life